"so wanna be my woman?"

So I actually went to class today, my English lecture. I haven’t attended an English lecture in… a month? I have no idea, but I’m a very, very bad student.

I shall blame the lack of attendance on my allergies, yes.

Anyways, I came 5 minutes early and sat at the very back of the room (so, err… I could leave early halfway through the lecture). There’s people milling around, finding seats, talking to their friends, etc. I notice this random guy standing near the exit doors, beside a pillar. Our eyes kinda met for like a split second, but me being all antisocial and awkward look away a millisecond later.

There’s a few empty seats beside me (I’m sitting at the very end of a row), and soon he comes and asks “can I sit here?” and he’s all friendly and jolly and stuff. I say sure, and start turning on my laptop, getting ready for class. I’m not too social with strangers at school (though I can be crazy damn social outside of it) so I don’t try initiating a conversation with the guy.

But as I’m taking out my notebook, he starts talking to me.

“What’s your name?”

“June.” (I’m a woman of few words, sometimes!!)

“Oh hi, I’m JJ. Nice to meet you.”

He takes my hand in the strongest damn handshake EVER. Seriously.

He goes on, saying “I’m here for two reasons. A, because these seats are comfortable and I’m bored. B, because a friend said I might fall in love”

…what?

Why are you talking like that, like it’s a speech or something? And... what?

I dunno, I’m kind of taken aback. I’ve never heard an introduction like that. He wasn't joking about it, either. 

He asks me about the class, asking if it’s interesting/fun/cool. I just shrug, saying that it’s alright. (Hey, I barely even GO to this class. I can’t offer interesting information on it.)  He asks me if I like English, and I reply that I do, it’s what I’m majoring in.

[On a side note, I do like English. But honestly, if I can ace the test/write the essays without going to the lecture, why go?! #logic.]

Soon he’s chatting to people around him (beside him and behind him), and I’m to myself – just the way I like it. I can’t help but listen in (Damn, his voice was pretty darn loud), and he’s telling the guys that he’s trying to find love in this class. I think they were confused too, but in a nutshell, they were basically like “yeah! Love! Yeah! You do that, man. Bro power!”

Then he finishes his convos with them, and turns back to me.

“So! Do you think I’ll find love in this class?”

GUH. WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME. I’m being antisocial, don’t you get it? T__T

But I say “Uhm, maybe!” and gave him a hopeful, “you can do it” side-glance smile. (Couldn't look him in the eye...)

Given the title, you can basically tell where this conversation is going.

He goes “Yeah, there’s lots of girls here, awesome”

...Yup.

“But they’re not really what I’m looking for”

...Sure.

Then he goes “so wanna be my woman?”

…

…
What?

He wasn't even saying that in a jokey, "yo lol gurl chill chill i be trolling u" way.  He said it in a deadpan way.
Which made it even creepier than it already was. 
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat (as in, kinda squeezed my body away from his seat, all the way that the chair armrest could let me) and said “uh… no.”

Because honestly – who says that?! I met you 10 minutes ago, bro. Even if I knew you for 10 years, the “so wanna be my woman” is just… no.

I don’t even remember what he said after that, but the next hour (the lectures are 2 hours long, with a 10 minute break in the middle) was awks (okay, this whole damn time was awks. I’m sure you get that.) I was half-listening to the boring lecture about Michael Lista’s “Bloom”, anyway. Having a (justifiable? Yes?) reason to ditch class, I left the lecture during break.

I texted some friends about what happened, because when Things Happen, texting is the answer. They all asked something along the lines of “LOL June, why do these things happen to you?”

Seriously.

Why DO they happen to me?

I must look really approachable and jolly and stuff.

Or… I must look really easy to troll. Yeah?

Either that, or I have a big “creepers and weirdos, come here” sign on my forehead. Yeah.

So now I’m sitting at the library, waiting for today’s tutor kid to come (what do you call them, anyways? “Student” or “pupil” just feels too formal for a tutor like me, LOL).