But I like it that way. Journaling helps me open up and unearth all the little secrets hidden beneath my skin that I didn't even know existed. And, most of the time, the very act of putting all my thoughts to paper is a way for me to get honest before God in a way that verbal praying doesn't allow. I once had a rare moment of brilliance and captured the essence of that idea, writing, "...it's almost as if these journals are their own gateway, an entrance into the very presence of God." I've written everything from the secular to the sacred, letting my pen go with the flow of my heart. Sometimes my words are soft-spoken and whisper prayers; in other cases, I eek out my frustrations in some kookier ways.
The following entry is a case-in-point:
September 11, 2011
I would wish upon the world sanity and with it an escape from the ludicrous, self-induced chaos that plagues it.
At the very least, I propose sending the majority of Earth's population to another planet. Once this is done, then those who possess at least a measure of sanity could find each other and cease risking their mental health.
Or maybe the sane ones could pack off to another planet and leave the bedraggled rest of the populace to their own devices.
Ah. Whatever the case, a split is most certainly called for. I think I'll telegraph Pluto (probably their most advanced form of communication) and negotiate immigration affairs.
Will update when more is known.
I really did write that. Eeek.
But it really was a very valid rant on the blight of general human insanity. Not the think-outside-the-box-and-break-the-cool-status-quo insanity (that's the one I'm pleasantly plagued with), but the insanity that occurs when we try to live life apart from the way God designed life to work. I've watched people seemingly lose, as they say down south, their "ever-lovin' minds" by choosing to reject God's way and go with the flow of whatever the culture...or their friends...or their boss...or their girlfriend/boyfriend...says.
Sometimes the errors they make are so blatant that I want to punch something and scream, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHERE IN THE WORLD DID YOUR MIND GO?"
And then God whips back my mental punching bag and plants His truth right in front of me like a hybrid wall of bricks, concrete, and steel ringed with barbed wire on top. And my mental fist connects rather solidly - rather painfully - with that mass of immovable truth.
"If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall"
*winces* Oh, hello, Pride. Ummm. Wow. This is awkward.
"The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience" (1 Corinthians 10:13)
So...I'm capable of being just as stupid? Even though I think they're making some pretty terrible decisions right now, I could turn around tomorrow and do something just as bad? I could "lose my mind"?
Yes, you poor deranged self. Apart from God's grace (1 Cor. 15:10; John 15:5), you are dead to any impulse that would lead toward doing right. In reality, you should be doing everything wrong! The Apostle Paul understood this reality clearly: "I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. " (Romans 7:18). In and of ourselves, we're pretty useless when it comes to doing good - when it comes to pleasing God. That's where His grace comes in.
"And God is faithful" (1 Corinthians 10:13).
Get that? While this statement clearly reminds us what a faithful God we serve, it also shatters our self-sufficiency, that clingy hang-up that tells most of us human beings that we can do it ourselves. First, in verse 12, we're reminded that we're just as "accident-prone" as anybody else. Second, we're told that we all deal with temptation. The final death-knell for our pride sounds when we read "And God is faithful." It's almost as if this author (Paul, again) is saying, "Now, let me tell you how messed up you really are apart from God. And once you've figured out that there's nothing you can really do about it, let me reinforce that idea by saying, point-blank, that God is faithful. Not you. Not your friends. God is faithful."
But don't get down because you've just been blindsided by the reminder that you can't live a holy life on your own. Celebrate! Rejoice! Get excited! Why? Because there's another meaning to that phrase that should fill you with joy. What is it? Well...God is faithful! Not, "God is sitting in heaven cooking up fire and brimstone for you." Not, "God is experiencing an intense hatred of you." No! God is faithful!
"For indeed I am for you, and I will turn to you..." (Ezekial 36:9).
Today, I just pray that God makes us realize our utter need for Him (Matt. 5:3) and shatters our pride. That's where revival starts, after all. And then, I pray that He will remind us that He is faithful, that He is for us, working beyond our weaknesses to showcase His glory in our lives. For when we are weak, then He is strong (2 Cor. 12:10).
" I have a great need for Christ; I have a great Christ for my need." -C.H. Spurgeon